Allow me to catch you up on the Ausfailian political landscape in a brief summary:

A few weeks ago, “Optimus” Prime Minister Kevin07 Rudd grew tired of his Deputy’s sooking when he demanded oral pleasure and threw one of his notorious tantrums.

She relented and gave him what he wanted, only to run to her dimwitted (Communist) Union buddies to help oust the nasty Kevin07.

And so, while he had his back turned to the door, jerking off to hentai, she crept into his room like the shifty immigrant she is, and knifed poor Kevin07.

The lowly troglodyte assumed the position (hahah) of PM and took over Ausfailia.
Now that an election has been called for Aug. 21, the witty, driven, intellectual inhabitants of this desert country get to choose between a douche and a turd sandwich to run the the place.

Take a look at these fuckheads.
Which would you choose?

It seems our only option is to take the lead of my colleague The rapist and vote for Eminem on the ballot card.

That said, get out there kids and vote!

Little Lindsay has to spend 90 days in prison. Boo fucking hoo!

Bitch, if I had my way, you’d be tied up and gagged in an abandoned warehouse for 90 days, getting raped by a pack of naggers while my hero Mel watched and jerked off. What can I say, I’m a romantic. Anyways, it seems Lilo has put a price tag (I’m sure there’s a joke in there somewhere about price tags and toe tags) on her first interview upon leaving the slammer – $1m. I say good on her. If you can’t be a stupid whore and drink drive and fly overseas instead of taking your court-appointed alcohol rehabilitation classes without making some cash from it all, what CAN you do? Besides, would you rather see her poor and sober or rich and living it up? Good on you, Linds. Go hard and when it all comes crashing down, remember: hollow points taste the best.

Spread the hate,

Dexda.

Hey ‘tards… with the slandercampaign.com offices orifices growing larger and larger, we’ve taken on our new apprentice, Dexda. Here he is, in his new office at slandercampaign.com HQ…

I’m sure it comes as no surprise that the creators of this little den of love and rainbows are not great fans of this shit known as Twilight.

If you have read the books (any of them) you are one of the following:
- A gay male with a Peter Pan complex
- An insecure female with low intelligence and unattended clinical delusions

The character of Edward Cullen is a gigantic faggot.

I hope any and all readers of this rubbish spend their lives sad and alone.
Fuck yourselves.

Who can explain this?

Why are these fuckheads popular?

Are there THAT many 20 year old receptionists out there?

I hope Al Qaeda target a Black Eyed Peas ‘concert’ and kill them and as many of their idiot fans with them.
These cunts are only the same level of talent as P!!!!nk.
Die.

Have you ever heard the term ‘hate fuck’?

For me, Katy Perry is the epitome of the phrase.

I loathe her ‘music’ and in many ways I find her disgusting.
That said, she has very large breasts and a decent physique, so maybe I will spare the bullet.

In addition she is engaged to this fuckwit..

This cunt is a fucking moron, says stupid shit, is a talentless ‘singer’ but she is pretty attractive in a spoiled Valley Girl sort of way.

If you get a chance, kidnap and rape her tomorrow.

P.S. That new song of hers, California Gurls is inarguably the worst piece of shit ever created in the guise of Pop Music.