Okay, so I know it’s “only Twitter” but if you don’t know how to use the correct grammar (or spelling, in most cases), then look it up! I’m tired of people complaining about how uneducated the “kids of today” are. Not that half of these fuckwits should be celebrities anyway but how do we expect “the kids” to learn when their role-models have no idea how to speak (or write) plain fucking English?! Everyone makes mistakes but when you proceed to incorrectly use words in your tweets, you look like a retard.

Did you notice the bold words above? If so; good, we’ve discounted that fact that you’re a total fuckwit.

Here are some examples of English and how to use it:

THEN: This word can be used many ways but is most commonly used as a continuative adverb, meaning it serves to continue a sentence. EXAMPLE: “I scored some Heroin after a big night out then went home and shot up.”

THAN: This word is comparative, meaning it is used most commonly to compare things. EXAMPLE: “I am smarter than you.”

THERE: Commonly used to describe position or location. EXAMPLE: “I accidentally killed a Hooker. I had to bury her corpse over there.”

THEIR: This word is the possessive case of “they”. EXAMPLE: “Those kids better shut the fuck up before I knock their fuckin’ teeth out!”

THEY’RE: A contraction of “they are”. A “contraction” is when a letter (and sometimes a space) has been replaced by an apostrophe. In this case; a space and the letter “A”. EXAMPLE: “Do you think they’re going to blame us for killing their dog?” (Notice the use of “they’re” and “their” in the same sentence.)

YOUR: Much like “their” is to “they”, “your” is the possessive case of “you”. EXAMPLE: “Shut your fuckin’ mouth, bitch!”

YOU’RE: This is a contraction of “you are”. EXAMPLE: “You’re a faggot!”

That’s the end of the lesson, kids. This is only a fragment of the English language but hopefully you’ve learned enough not to sound like your favorite “celebrity” or “sports hero”. The next time one of these undeserving fuckheads spells something incorrectly or uses the wrong word, TELL THEM! Let them know that no matter how much money they have, you will always be smarter than they are.

Spread the hate,

Dexda.

Hey there cockheads!
You may recall that a while back I mentioned how completely shit Australian politicians are (aren’t they all?).

It seems the entire nation agreed with me!
Last weekend, Aussies were forced to vote (unlike Yank poofs we are obliged to vote BY LAW) and the choices were so shit that people were split completely down the middle!

Hung Parliament they say! Funny because both leaders have the same size cock.

So now as a nation, we are awaiting the decision of this fuckwit to decide which party he will side with.

Sums up our country perfectly.
Praying for a tidal wave,
money.

Allow me to catch you up on the Ausfailian political landscape in a brief summary:

A few weeks ago, “Optimus” Prime Minister Kevin07 Rudd grew tired of his Deputy’s sooking when he demanded oral pleasure and threw one of his notorious tantrums.

She relented and gave him what he wanted, only to run to her dimwitted (Communist) Union buddies to help oust the nasty Kevin07.

And so, while he had his back turned to the door, jerking off to hentai, she crept into his room like the shifty immigrant she is, and knifed poor Kevin07.

The lowly troglodyte assumed the position (hahah) of PM and took over Ausfailia.
Now that an election has been called for Aug. 21, the witty, driven, intellectual inhabitants of this desert country get to choose between a douche and a turd sandwich to run the the place.

Take a look at these fuckheads.
Which would you choose?

It seems our only option is to take the lead of my colleague The rapist and vote for Eminem on the ballot card.

That said, get out there kids and vote!