That’s right Jay-Z, you big-lipped mother fucker, I said it… Rihanna is a talentless waste of her daddy’s jizz. The world would have been better off had said jizz been flushed down some crackhead hooker’s throat with a pint of syphilis-laden urine.

Only the dumbest kind of slut would sing a song about domestic abuse wearing next to nothing, after being the victim of domestic abuse herself (props Chris).

With a teeny bit of luck perhaps Rihanna will have her voice-box torn out by wolverines, so we won’t have to hear her fucked up whiney over-produced drivel any longer. Perhaps then she’ll stick to leaking nude pics of herself online that 15yo gangsta-wannabes can get hard over.

Even the lyrical genius Eminem can be seen below wishing she’d just fucking die.

Rihanna, No word of a lie, I don’t give a fuck if you “like the way it hurts”, I would pay good money to watch you burn.

I will make no song and dance about this: Justin Bieber is shit.
He cannot sing.
He cannot dance.
He is too young to even have seen a movie with the word ‘shit’ in it.
He wears nappies (diapers, stupid Yank cunt).

All this shrieking fandom bullshit is hyped by a media so short of any real content that it creates a frenzy itself.

I HOPE YOU ARE ABDUCTED AND RAPED BY CRAZED PRISON ESCAPEES BIEBER.
Die.
P.S. I love that Baby song! You know, the one that goes:
‘Baby, baby, baby oooooh,
like baby, baby, baby noooooooo,
like baby, baby, baby, ooooh.
Thought you’d always be mine, mine (repeat x34)’

I have a simple question for you: why is it that Jennifer Aniston cannot keep a man interested?

Say what you like about her shitty nose job, or changing her name from Anistonopopopopolous, or the fact that her appearance in any film will doom it’s commercial success, but there is something amiss here.

It seems every week there is a new magazine cover expose on her disastrous personal life, usually involving the words ‘lonely’ or ‘desperate’ or ‘baby’.

This woman has had relationships with some pretty famous motherfuckers.. Vince Vaughn (when he was fat), funny manboy Paul Rudd, serial pimps John Mayer and Adam Duritz, tough guy Gerard Butler, Tate Donovan (who?), the list goes on.
She was married to Brad Pitt for fuck’s sake! Everyone loves Brad Pitt, don’t they?!
Fuck yeah!!

For whatever reason she can’t keep one.
Is she a super annoying bitch?
Does she bite her toenails?
Does she fart loudly?
I have as sneaking suspicion it has something to do with her vagina.
Here is a representation of what I think it looks like..

She lures these unsuspecting Lotharios in with her notoriety and promises of delectable intercourse, and then SNAP! She clamps their dick!

I’m pretty sure I’m on the money here, so if Jennifer Aniston comes onto you, punch her in the snatch and run for your life.

Allow me to catch you up on the Ausfailian political landscape in a brief summary:

A few weeks ago, “Optimus” Prime Minister Kevin07 Rudd grew tired of his Deputy’s sooking when he demanded oral pleasure and threw one of his notorious tantrums.

She relented and gave him what he wanted, only to run to her dimwitted (Communist) Union buddies to help oust the nasty Kevin07.

And so, while he had his back turned to the door, jerking off to hentai, she crept into his room like the shifty immigrant she is, and knifed poor Kevin07.

The lowly troglodyte assumed the position (hahah) of PM and took over Ausfailia.
Now that an election has been called for Aug. 21, the witty, driven, intellectual inhabitants of this desert country get to choose between a douche and a turd sandwich to run the the place.

Take a look at these fuckheads.
Which would you choose?

It seems our only option is to take the lead of my colleague The rapist and vote for Eminem on the ballot card.

That said, get out there kids and vote!

Little Lindsay has to spend 90 days in prison. Boo fucking hoo!

Bitch, if I had my way, you’d be tied up and gagged in an abandoned warehouse for 90 days, getting raped by a pack of naggers while my hero Mel watched and jerked off. What can I say, I’m a romantic. Anyways, it seems Lilo has put a price tag (I’m sure there’s a joke in there somewhere about price tags and toe tags) on her first interview upon leaving the slammer – $1m. I say good on her. If you can’t be a stupid whore and drink drive and fly overseas instead of taking your court-appointed alcohol rehabilitation classes without making some cash from it all, what CAN you do? Besides, would you rather see her poor and sober or rich and living it up? Good on you, Linds. Go hard and when it all comes crashing down, remember: hollow points taste the best.

Spread the hate,

Dexda.

I’m sure it comes as no surprise that the creators of this little den of love and rainbows are not great fans of this shit known as Twilight.

If you have read the books (any of them) you are one of the following:
- A gay male with a Peter Pan complex
- An insecure female with low intelligence and unattended clinical delusions

The character of Edward Cullen is a gigantic faggot.

I hope any and all readers of this rubbish spend their lives sad and alone.
Fuck yourselves.