Rampage Jackson was once an MMA fighter.
He was known for his mean face, incessant growling and wearing some kid’s bike chain around his neck.
He occasionally had some wins which were not completely boring.
Then one day, after watching Jerry Maguire for the 4th time in a row, Rampage (he earned this nickname after demolishing a fairy floss castle as a child) decided he should further his image of manliness by fighting one of the actors in the film, Tom Cruise Rashad Evans.

Anyway, so the big day came and instead of fighting each other, the combatants creeped around the octagon homo-erotically, not wanting to hurt each other’s propsects of movie roles in future.
In the end, Rampage was decided to be more gay due to his very tiny shorts and therefore lost the fight.

Fear not dear readers, for there is a happy ending to this story!
Rampage lost a bet in a men’s bath-house and had to star in a remake of the critically acclaimed 80s TV series M*A*S*H The A-Team and is a big movie star now!!

This is especially great because Rampage’s MMA career is over as everyone now knows he is a fucking bitch.

Enjoy your movie money, weak cunt.

Despite the rumours, he is blatantly homosexual….

MMA fans may be aware that this dumbass gay slimebag is predominantly into men, due to his innate love of rimming hairy man ass.

Actually, it has been beautiful to watch him vaguely penetrate the mannequin bucket or tepid water that used to be the biggest porn slut on the planet (despite the fact she didn’t do anal…. loser) for the last couple of years or so… maybe he was secretly penetrating her kids for satisfaction?? Not such a bad option, I would have.

Anyway, big props to this guy, coz at least he’s being honest!

ps – no previous post has been in so many categories…. and that shit ain’t a good thing, truuuusssst me!