Most things in this world are photoshopped…

Let’s hope these are for real, and the sex tape is to follow…

ps – I’ll bet she gives a mean blowjob these days, after all those years of practice on that Good Charlotte tosser… after all, they were together for fucking years and claimed to be waiting until marriage to shag… pfffft!

humans… some of them are seriously just incredibly moronic…

So, I’m driving to my local abattoir this morning (as I do on thursdays, for entertainment) when I hear a story on the news about some seaworld-type killer whale trainer having been chomped on during a “training session”.

How could something as cute and cuddly as a KILLER whale have done such a thing you might ask?

Well… Here’s why people are stupid; WHY THE FUCK WOULDN’T A KILLER WHALE (or shark, crocodile, lion, tiger, polar bear etc) FUCKING EAT YOU??!?!?!

People seem suprised when they watch their buddies get eaten on the african safari after trying to “get closer to take pictures of the pretty lions”

Or when you get in a cage with one!

I could get a hundred different videos and post them here (search the net yourselves you lazy cunts!), and there will still be dumb fucking people out there that can’t believe their kids got eaten by sharks while they were surfing in South Africa…..

So really, are we all that suprised that a killer whale trainer was attacked, and died? Little Telly the killer whale was probably just ‘having a laugh’…

Funny though.. When you fuck with fire, fire fucks back.

ps – I apologize for not having a video of Tilly eating her trainer (yet), but those lion ones are just great anyway, right? (have a look for the full length version of the first one, about 15 minutes long).

Interesting facts about Julia Roberts:
1. Her brother is more talented than she is.
2. I would rather fuck Richard Gere than her (Insert gay comments here etc).
3. She is an utter cunt to everyone.
4. Her best performance is when Clive Owen calls her a ‘cunt’ in Closer (2004), because that is how most people react to her in reality.
5. Based upon each important Western country’s most recent censii, 97% of the world’s populace wished/hoped that she is dead, or would die ‘soon’.

So, what have we learned today?
Julia Roberts is an untalented, mean-spirited, labia-like-a-wizard’s-sleeve, ugly CUNT.

From me to you Julia, for the sake of your twin toddlers and your unsuccessful ‘photographer’ husband and the world at large, please snuff it.

Don’t forget to keep your eyes on VanessaVee.com
She may not dish the slander, but she’s a hell of a lot better looking than us!

Allow me to begin to declaring that I have never liked Courtney Love.
In fact, I have habitually badmouthed and publicly despised her.

Now don’t get the wrong impression; I still think she is a wretched, psychotic, drug addled mess who just happened to fuck three of my musical heroes.

Due to her public image/behaviour – and perhaps because she is female (or is she??) – it has often been whispered; nay alleged that Hole’s two successful albums Live Through This (1994) and Celebrity Skin (1998) were written in the most part by Kirk Cobaines and Willy Corgman, respectively.

Without delving into those conspiracy theories, I think some of it is partly true, though probably for the latter album.

Which brings me to my point.. ‘Awful’, the third single from Celebrity Skin is one of the best pop rock songs I have ever heard. The lyrics, melody, structure and producton all bleed into what is an infectious upbeat singalong.

To my mind it is the best thing that Courtney Love has or ever will create or be part of.
So, for all her flaws and public disgraces (Pamela Anderson’s Comedy Central Roast springs to mind), this song will stand as proof that she does, or did, have some talent deep down, past the vicodin and whiskey.

Here it is (via Google’s pointless pairing with major record labels, Vevo)

“>

No, no, we are not here today to discuss the latest line of quality urban footwear, but the barrel chested egotist “Timbaland”.

I could go launch into a biting character assassination piece but the simple facts about this man are as follows:
1. He is shit.
2. He is fat, not buff (doesn’t he know lean is in? OMFGTKDKSKW)
3. He is very shit.

I could qualify this assessment with notes about how he 99% of his beats are the same, how annoying his guest appearances in music videos are (wikki wikki, baby girl) or the fact that he once hit a lost puppy while doing 145mph in his limited edition Lambo (with custom glitter paint job) and didn’t even stop.

In any case, all any of us can do its pray to Satan nightly that he is falsely convicted of some crime, goes to Rikers and is ass-rammed each morning before breakfast by some AIDS ridden lifer and is made to be his bitch (lipstick a must).

Unsuprisingly, it is difficult to find any comrades in dissent, as Timbaland is considered by most troglodites fuckwits to be a true “artiste”, perhaps surpassed in genius only by Sir Will.I.Am of the Blacks Black Eyed Peas.

Nevertheless, here are some brethren in our cause, and what incisive wit they have:

YouTube
Facebook
last.fm

Fashionista Extraordinaire

Nice cardigan.