Allow me to catch you up on the Ausfailian political landscape in a brief summary:

A few weeks ago, “Optimus” Prime Minister Kevin07 Rudd grew tired of his Deputy’s sooking when he demanded oral pleasure and threw one of his notorious tantrums.

She relented and gave him what he wanted, only to run to her dimwitted (Communist) Union buddies to help oust the nasty Kevin07.

And so, while he had his back turned to the door, jerking off to hentai, she crept into his room like the shifty immigrant she is, and knifed poor Kevin07.

The lowly troglodyte assumed the position (hahah) of PM and took over Ausfailia.
Now that an election has been called for Aug. 21, the witty, driven, intellectual inhabitants of this desert country get to choose between a douche and a turd sandwich to run the the place.

Take a look at these fuckheads.
Which would you choose?

It seems our only option is to take the lead of my colleague The rapist and vote for Eminem on the ballot card.

That said, get out there kids and vote!

Little Lindsay has to spend 90 days in prison. Boo fucking hoo!

Bitch, if I had my way, you’d be tied up and gagged in an abandoned warehouse for 90 days, getting raped by a pack of naggers while my hero Mel watched and jerked off. What can I say, I’m a romantic. Anyways, it seems Lilo has put a price tag (I’m sure there’s a joke in there somewhere about price tags and toe tags) on her first interview upon leaving the slammer – $1m. I say good on her. If you can’t be a stupid whore and drink drive and fly overseas instead of taking your court-appointed alcohol rehabilitation classes without making some cash from it all, what CAN you do? Besides, would you rather see her poor and sober or rich and living it up? Good on you, Linds. Go hard and when it all comes crashing down, remember: hollow points taste the best.

Spread the hate,

Dexda.

Hey ‘tards… with the slandercampaign.com offices orifices growing larger and larger, we’ve taken on our new apprentice, Dexda. Here he is, in his new office at slandercampaign.com HQ…